1. Write a Letter to the Woman You Used to Be (And the One You’re Becoming)
Sit down with a journal and write to your past self. The version of you who felt the most alive, passionate, and fearless.
Ask her:
· What did you love before the world told you who to be?
· What were your dreams before you put them on pause?
· What parts of you do you miss the most?
Then, write a letter to your future self—the woman you’re becoming.
· What does she look like?
· How does she carry herself?
· What does she no longer tolerate?
· What does her happiest day look like?
This exercise will help you reconnect with who you are at your core, beyond the day-to-day noise.
2. Identify Your “Shoulds” vs. Your Truth
Many women feel lost because they’ve been living according to what they "should" do instead of what they truly want. It’s time to separate the two.
Write down every expectation placed on you:
· I should have it all figured out.
· I should be more productive.
· I should always put others first.
· I should settle down by now.
Now rewrite them with YOUR truth:
· I don’t have to have it all figured out. I am allowed to evolve.
· Rest is productive, too.
· My needs matter just as much as anyone else’s.
· I don’t have to follow society’s timeline. My path is my own.
Letting go of these "shoulds" will free you to create a life that actually feels good for YOU.
3. Strip Away the Labels & Ask: Who Am I Without Them?
Take a moment to ask yourself: Who am I outside of my roles & responsibilities?
Write down:
· Who am I beyond being a mother, partner, friend, employee, caregiver?
· What excites me outside of work & obligations?
· If no one expected anything from me, what would I choose?
This exercise forces you to look at your true essence, not who the world has told you to be.
4. Confront the Version of You That You Abandoned
There’s a version of you that you left behind, maybe to fit in, to survive, or because you were told she wasn’t good enough.
· Who is she?
· When did you stop showing up as her?
· Why did you feel like you had to let her go?
Now, ask yourself: Does she deserve to be forgotten? Or does she deserve to come back?
This is deep, but healing requires honesty. It’s time to bring back the pieces of you that felt free, joyful, and authentic.
5. Identify What Feels Like Home (Hint: It’s Not a Place)
Think about moments in your life when you felt safe, happy, and like your true self.
· Who were you with?
· What were you doing?
· What made you feel alive?
Your true self isn’t lost! It’s found in those moments. Start doing more of what makes you feel at home within yourself.
6. Create a “No More” List
Sometimes, the key to finding yourself isn’t adding more, it’s removing what’s weighing you down.
Write a “No More” list of everything you’re DONE tolerating:
· No more shrinking myself to make others comfortable.
· No more saying yes when I mean no.
· No more ignoring my own needs.
· No more waiting for the “right time” to live.
When you make space by letting go, the real YOU has room to return.
7. Do the 5-5-5 Identity Check-In
If you’ve lost yourself, let’s bring YOU back with these three simple lists:
· 5 Things That Make You Feel Like YOU Again
(Example: Dancing, writing, traveling, singing in the car, wearing bright colors)
· 5 Things You Need to Stop Doing to Feel Free
(Example: Over-explaining myself, holding onto toxic people, doubting my worth, putting myself last, people-pleasing)
· 5 New Things to Try That Align With Who You WANT to Be
(Example: Taking myself on dates, setting boundaries without guilt, speaking kindly to myself, starting a hobby, wearing what makes me feel powerful)
This will help you reset and realign with the best version of YOU.
8. Ask Yourself: If I Woke Up With Amnesia, What Would I Choose?
If you didn’t remember:
· Who people told you to be
· What society expects from you
· What you’re “supposed” to do
… What kind of life would you create from scratch?
This question forces you to think about what YOU actually want, not what you’ve been conditioned to accept.
9. Find Your Soul Anchor
If you feel lost, find one thing that grounds you back to yourself.
· A book that changed your life.
· A song that makes you feel whole.
· A place that makes you feel safe.
· A person who reminds you who you are.
Whenever you feel lost, go back to your soul anchor. It’s your reminder that you are still here.
10. Decide That You Are Worth Finding. Period.
Boo, you are NOT lost. You just stopped prioritizing yourself, and that’s okay, it happens.
But now? It’s time to come back home to YOU.
· Start small.
· Make a single change today.
· Choose yourself in one tiny way.
Because every time you do, you get closer to the real you—the one who has been waiting for you all along.
Your Identity is NOT Gone! It’s Just Waiting for You to Choose It Again.
You don’t need to find yourself. You just need to start choosing yourself again, every single day.
Save this for the days you forget who you are.
Which step speaks to you the most? Drop a ✨ in the comments if you’re ready to rediscover YOU!